Too quick. Now in my third year of university and back in England, the life I once created for myself earlier this year seems like a distant memory. As much as I hold onto the memories, I am excited for the future. But for now, adjusting to (what feels like a whole new life… ‘back to reality’ and all that) life again is pretty dismal if I must say so.
Its strange though, I am not sure if the final year of my studies is the busiest, but it certainly is the most difficult. For a bunch of reasons too. It is not just the big step up in work, but it is the energy that I am severely lacking to finish something I was so excited about a few years ago. It seems that everyone talks about how university will be the best years of your life (and damn, my semester abroad may well be) but they rarely if ever talk about the detail of the stress and anxiety it causes.
I’m not just talking about the little stress over leaving your work to the last minute, or anxiety about a singular grade. I’m talking the kind that slowly eats away at you until you have nothing left. Somehow though I am still fighting, but fit and fight… I am not so sure? I am ‘COPING’, I guess. I am like that hamster who keeps running around his stupid cage, or that boxer who keeps getting up after each knockout. I do not seem to know when to quit.
University is probably not the best thing for me now and I honestly cannot tell you how excited I am to finish right now. It is ironic really, as I think it has been a journey that I needed, but now I really could do without. The day I finally graduate will be a milestone, for a range of reasons. But mostly for the mental strength that has got me this far.
Stay strong and stay positive 🙂